Hizumi struggles to sing Abyss.
The venue is completely vacant of light. There’s shadows of heads that look like they blend completely into the venue itself. There’s nothing. Nothing more than a single bright spot light that comes from behind Tsukasa. It illuminates the stage, and casts Hizumi’s shadow on the side of walls. My face embraces this light, and I’m sitting on a small platform along side the sound booth. It’s easier to see and move back here. Even if I’m taking a breather now, I can see the stage. I can see Hizumi’s outline.
‘Abyss’. The ripple of drums and vocals whip through me and nothing else.
I’ll never forget that.
To Hizumi, I wish you all the luck in the world. I’m happy you were the responsible adult rather than giving your fans false hope. Now the disbandment of DespairsRay will always cause my heart to ache, his health is the most important thing. Now he can focus on himself and just recover at his own pace. I’ll have my beautiful memories thanks to this band for as long as I live.
From the show in New York, holding hands with my friends while headbanging, and celebrating the album MONSTERS. To the very last live I saw them at in Yokohama. Sitting back and listening to Hizumi sing ‘abyss’ while never giving up for anyone in that audience. I realized at that time I had to make use of my time in seeing them.
The final memory is being so happy during LOVE IS DEAD. Dancing so freely with a Japanese fan while they performed, climbing up on the second tier to cheer and throw up the horns. Absolute freedom that day. Thank you, all four of you for being utterly amazing. Thank you for bringing my friends and I together, thank you for making my friends smile, thank you for existing.
I’ll miss you. For now I’ll relax with the memory of eating takoyaki that night and partying in that small live house with 200 other fans.