Memories of Japan. 
OCTOBER ‘10. Let’s Rock and Roll.

HIS EYES ARE HUGE. <3 ilthem.
Memory: October 27th. Yokohama. In the room that looked like it was built for three or four rows of movie theater seats.

Hizumi struggles to sing Abyss.

The venue is completely vacant of light. There’s shadows of heads that look like they blend completely into the venue itself. There’s nothing. Nothing more than a single bright spot light that comes from behind Tsukasa. It illuminates the stage, and casts Hizumi’s shadow on the side of walls. My face embraces this light, and I’m sitting on a small platform along side the sound booth. It’s easier to see and move back here. Even if I’m taking a breather now, I can see the stage. I can see Hizumi’s outline.

'Abyss'. The ripple of drums and vocals whip through me and nothing else. 

I’ll never forget that. 

Going to keep him there for a while! Make a wish!

I have a cool idea. I think it would be cool if I chose a day and just walked from the highest end of New York City, until I got downtown to the bay and where I can’t walk no more. All while jamming to as much of DespairsRay’s discography as possible. Be like a small tribute in a way to them. Plus, it would be my own personal dance party. While the world is moving at such a fast pace, in a vast city.
ZERO from D’espairsRay || CITAHSpam

He’ll always be the exotic one. :D
In realizing that all of our musicians are human and that when the body says “stop” we cannot pretend to be invincible.

To Hizumi, I wish you all the luck in the world. I’m happy you were the responsible adult rather than giving your fans false hope. Now the disbandment of DespairsRay will always cause my heart to ache, his health is the most important thing. Now he can focus on himself and just recover at his own pace. I’ll have my beautiful memories thanks to this band for as long as I live.

From the show in New York, holding hands with my friends while headbanging, and celebrating the album MONSTERS. To the very last live I saw them at in Yokohama. Sitting back and listening to Hizumi sing ‘abyss’ while never giving up for anyone in that audience. I realized at that time I had to make use of my time in seeing them.

The final memory is being so happy during LOVE IS DEAD. Dancing so freely with a Japanese fan while they performed, climbing up on the second tier to cheer and throw up the horns. Absolute freedom that day. Thank you, all four of you for being utterly amazing. Thank you for bringing my friends and I together, thank you for making my friends smile, thank you for existing.

I’ll miss you. For now I’ll relax with the memory of eating takoyaki that night and partying in that small live house with 200 other fans.

Love you.